Guess who's back?!

Well, well, well. It's been almost a year since I've typed anything that isn't school related. I know I have been gone for a minute but a lot has changed...a lot. Well, let's get to it shall we.

Well first things first...JAY IS HOME!!! Yes, nine almost ten months ago, Jay got into some bad financial problems and things were getting worse by the minute. So at 6:00 AM on a Friday morning, I hopped on a Greyhound straight to Houston. Seven hours of boredom and half sleep filled my day.

After landing there, my BFF Rena drove me to a U-Haul place and I rented a truck and drove to other side of Houston. When I got there, Jay was packing everything he could salvage and we loaded up to leave. After a seven hour ride, my phone died so we bought a charger cause no one knew if I was ok. (In another post, I will give you the story of the bus ride. Two words: Hot Mess)
After loading up everything, I realized three things: A. It was the end of February and it was hot as hell, B. I was running on maybe three hours of sleep and C. Jay had a lot of shit to say he lived alone.

So we left, mind you like I said in the last paragraph, I was only running on three hours of sleep and Jay license had expired, I had to drive home.

I was okay for a while. We talked and it kept me up for a while. However, Texas has a lot of long, skinny and winding roads when its after midnight. After a while, things started looking like a blur and before I knew it, I was driving on two wheels! I had ran into a winding curb and drove sideways for like five minutes. Then all of a sudden, I felt a hand guiding my hands and the road didn't seem so dark. I got back on the road safely and drove to the Louisiana border where I started to fall asleep again so Jay and I went to a hotel. I don't remember much after that cause I fell straight to sleep but I kept wondering how that dark road I almost flipped over on became so much brighter.

I when I woke up the next morning, I dreaded looking at the truck thinking it was damaged from us almost running off the road. Alas, there was no marks on it! It was like nothing happened. Pleased that ordeal was over, we headed home.

Now, coming was pretty hard for Jay to do. In Houston, he had his own apartment, a good job and was content. Now he was coming home to live with me and my mom in this tiny ass apartment. Moving his stuff and my stuff couldn't flow so we put some of his stuff in storage.

Well, as much as I was glad to see him come home, Jay and I hit a few bumps. Fuck it, we hit a lot of them. Now I know relationships get rocky but it was to the point we were screaming at each other. We had lost the communication we had built our relationship on years ago. Things were different now. I had a heavy load at school and he tried his best looking for a job since his old one couldn't find him a place here. So for seven months, Jay tried his best to get a job but it didn't work out well. He ended losing all of his stuff in storage cause he couldn't keep up with the payments.

This is also when I noticed some things. Not big things but shit that makes you think. Well first of all, we looked at life differently. He mourns silently while I'm a blubbering mess. I stress out a lot yet if he is, he rarely shows it. That and two independent people can clash over simple things. I yell at him for not picking up a towel and he yells at me for not eating and not taking my meds. Its nothing to break up over but it makes you think.

Secondly, we had our own different worlds yet we didn't fuse them together. While he talked to his friends online, I was chatting it up with mine but in my mind, I just thought he didn't want to be part of this family or our relationship was fading.

Well it came to blows Thanksgiving evening and I thought this may be the end of what I thought was a fairy tale relationship. However, for the first time since he has been here, we finally got to say things and found out we wanted the same thing, just in a different matter.

Things got better after that, Jay found a job and we are talking more. My shrink wants us to go to counseling but neither one of us can afford it now so we try to talk out things but I think we will try counseling soon.

So I am at 5AM and not a bit sleepy. Jay has to be to work for 8 and I have a final on Sunday morning (who the hell made this testing schedule will hear it from me in a nice comforting letter). Last week, I was up for 34 hours. Why? I don't have the slightest idea. This semester has killed me. I found some gray hairs that weren't there when I started this school term. However, that's for another post to rant about that.

He's snoring so I guess that means I should try to get at least two hours in. I'm just glad to have him back.

See you guys in my next post :)

Lovely