Love happens to be one of the most used words in any language. Love takes on many ways, shapes and forms. It can used to seek approval, to show affection towards people and it can allow other people to see you in a different way.
However, what IS love? Is it a feeling like taste or hear? Is it thing that only happens only a few times in your life? Or is it just a word we use to get our way?
According to Encarta, if you were to search the word love, this would appear:
Love, emotion explored in philosophy, religion, and literature, often as either romantic love, the fraternal love of others, or the love of God.
However, is that all? Can that simple explanation really clarify what we really feel? If we were to break down love and the many ways in it is used, we would have a book thicker than the Webster's dicitionary. Let us look into how this word affects us in everyday life.
First there is the love we feel when we are born. The love of mom and dad or just one of them. To most, this is the best experience of love. These first years of learning about feelings molds how we will give and/or accept love. If we are hurt by someone during this stage, it stays with us. If a young person feels a lacking of love, later on in life it will affect how you will treat relationships. In a study done a few years ago, young homosexuals stated that the way they were treated in childhood led to how they found love later on in life. Most who were abused say that they feel that love is associated with the kind of abused that they suffered with. So if you were beaten and the explanation of why they were beaten was "because I love you", that is all they will ever know.
Then, there is the "if you love me, you would do this for me" love. This feeling is most commonly used by young teenagers and young adults to soothe out a way to get something out of their partner. When a girl is hesistant to give into sexual relations, this is what they will usual hear: "If you love me, you will do this" or "You know I love you so you know I will never leave you." This either A) gets the boy what he wants or B) get the boy what he wants, with more drama to follow afterwards. This abuse of the word can open a can of worms that no one is ready for. A pregnancy may happen and it may lead you back to the first feeling of love we talked about earlier.
Then, as we get older it becomes "I love you but I'm not in love you". This feeling comes with the feeling of the most pit of feelings we acquire as we go into the real world. Lovers or friends or both? Which of these is the right one? As we get closer to people, our feelings evolve but sometimes, this feeling becomes a one way street. This person cares for you and would never hurt you in any way but the feeling is not there. So this love is drowned in sorrow and sad love songs.
Then, when we do find that right one, we are the happiest we can ever be and familes are raised and life is good. For some this fairy tale does not last forever. This is when we come to "We fell out of love but love each other enough to be good in front of the kids". This is where parents put up a good front for the kids so they will believe that everything is all good. But most kids can read right through this and feel that they are being lied to. This can be avoided by being open and honest with kids at an age they can understand.
This entry may seem a little anti-love, but it is just showing that beyond the poetry, songs and presents, there is a dark side to love. Whether we like it or not, love is not always beautiful, its not always postive and it is not always a happy ending. What we do have from love is a lesson that we keep in our hearts forever.
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